Is People-Pleasing Affecting YOUR Health?



Bike Ride with my Uncle Dave to the loveliest spot in Motueka – The Janey Seddon

If you know that sinking feeling when you say ‘yes’ to doing something that you don’t actually want to do, you’re probably a people-pleaser. Making other people feel happy is a fantastic, powerful thing, but not at the expense of self-love.

Mental health impacts over-all wellbeing in a big way. So, it is super-important to please yourself before you please others. This is not being selfish; it is self-care. Running yourself into the ground to meet the needs of others is not a good idea. Looking after yourself fuels your own happiness as well as the happiness of others around you.

Everyone is different, but here are a few tips for self-care.

  • Schedule ‘me-time’ – every single day! I personally tick off me-time with yoga, reading novels, running, being in nature, having a cup of tea, pottering in the garden, having a bath, napping, baking, walking… just to name a few. Ten minutes is all I squeeze in some days. But I make sure I do it every. single. day!
  • Tune into your own needs – some days you might need to take more me-time than usual. If you listen to yourself, you will know when. And when you do need it, make sure you do it. Everything else can wait. You will do a better job at those things if you have restored your mental and emotional energy first.
  • Don’t be scared to break a commitment to something that you don’t love in the first place! Humans seem to have a very strong commitment to… well… commitment! We judge ourselves, and others judge us (so what?) when we break a commitment.
  • Postpone – people don’t mind too much when you say a straight up ‘no’ to doing something. Try not to make excuses, or you will be left with that guilty feeling. Just say no, thanks.
  • Take plans into your control to make sure you do things that you will actually enjoy doing – if you have been invited for dinner but you don’t have the money to spend, change the plans to a walk on the beach instead. Don’t be afraid to suggest an alternative activity.
  • Pinpoint the real reason you don’t want to go – if you are purely being lazy, decide whether you might actually benefit from going ahead. If not, don’t do it.

Hopefully these little ideas will help someone out there to put himself or herself first. It really will have a significant impact on your health. To health and wellness!

I would love to hear some ways that you put yourself first… so comment below 🙂

By Franklee Healthy

A little message at the end: These blog posts are simply to help me process my own learning. I have no medical, health-science-y background… although I am studying towards a diploma of nutritional science, and I do my best to consult reliable research. If you see any info that doesn’t quite look right, then great! Comment away with your thoughts, because I would love to know more.





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